Last week Abby stumbled across this long forgotten blog. "Mom did you used to have a blog called Moneys at the zoo?" She spent the next few car trips to and from middle school reading the blogs aloud to me and laughing and laughing. While feigning teenage embarrassment that our lives were available for public perusal, she seemed to genuinely enjoy reading the stories about her and her siblings. It made me realize that I wish I had never stopped blogging. I also wish that magical fairies did laundry and cleaned my house. Obviously, some wishes are patently unrealistic and some I have a little control over.
I don't know how good I will be at this given the hectic pace of our lives, however, the kids have changed so much in the four years since I last blogged. Having Abby read the old posts to me, I was struck by how many little things I had forgotten, even though I had authored the posts. Although started basically as a way to keep family and friends updated on our adoption stories the blog turned into a family diary full of things I never want to forget. The adoptions now seem as far removed from us as childbirth. Life today is mostly about trying to stay ahead of the monkeys plots to stage a coup and overthrow the zoo keepers. They are all growing much too fast and changing every day. I know the little moments and funny family stories might be lost if not recorded somewhere. So I vow to try.
Our zoo recently became a traveling road show as we picked up and moved to Austin, Texas. Moving has not been without it's struggles but I am amazed most days at the resiliency the monkeys have shown through this. It's been hard to find a routine or normalcy as we are in temporary housing, our belongings are in storage and we are waiting for a permanent house. We are currently living in about 1000 square foot vacation rental. Some days we feel stacked on top of each other like cord wood. I often wonder how the kids will look back on this time. Will they remember it fondly and joke about the tiny lake house? Will they hate us for uprooting them from family and friends and ruining their lives? Probably some of both. Most days all I hope for is that I haven't done and won't do anything to screw them up permanently. I really can't afford therapy AND college.
Tuesday, October 4, 2016
Monday, August 13, 2012
Gabe turned 6!
On June 29th Gabe turned 6! On July 9th he was diagnosed with mono and staph infection in his throat. For the first couple of days he was a very sick boy who slept watched T.V. and barely ate. We even had to postpone his birthday party. His party with friends was held on August 4th at Quarry Hill Nature Center. He went on a cave hike with some of his friends (and his sisters) and enjoyed Samurai Power Ranger cake.
Gabe is such a delightful inquisitive boy who makes us laugh loud and often. He handles being the only Prince in house full of Princesses very well. He is unusually self aware and introspective for someone only 6 years old. He is super loving and kind and we often say he will make someone a great husband some day.
Gabe's imagination and explanations for things are wonderful. I almost don't want him to grow up because his world is SO much more fun that the real world. I have had so much fun enjoying the summer with him. He tells me several times a day how much he loves me. Who wouldn't want to hear that? We are so blessed that 6 years ago this little boy joined the world. Our lives would not be the same without our Gabe.
Gabe is such a delightful inquisitive boy who makes us laugh loud and often. He handles being the only Prince in house full of Princesses very well. He is unusually self aware and introspective for someone only 6 years old. He is super loving and kind and we often say he will make someone a great husband some day.
Gabe's imagination and explanations for things are wonderful. I almost don't want him to grow up because his world is SO much more fun that the real world. I have had so much fun enjoying the summer with him. He tells me several times a day how much he loves me. Who wouldn't want to hear that? We are so blessed that 6 years ago this little boy joined the world. Our lives would not be the same without our Gabe.
Adoption is NOT for wimps!
I have been told by several people that read my blog that it appears that Charli's adjustment has gone completely smoothly. In many ways Charli's transition has gone incredibly smoothly and Phil and I agree that adjustment and attachment were easier for Charli than for Ellie who came home at 9 months old. I do admit however that I have left out of the blog some of the difficulties that we have been having this summer. It hasn't all been easy but bringing home our newly born children wasn't easy either. I have said it before and I will say it again...adoption is not for wimps.
Charli's first struggle was grief. She missed her foster family terribly. She had spent two years with them and certainly did not understand why they would have handed her off to us. She would cry out for her Omma in Korea. The grief cry is unlike any cry I had ever heard before. It would come over her any time of the day or night and you would know it was grief because it was heart wrenching mournful cry and she would cry huge crocodile tears. I have grieved myself and been around many others who were grieving some loss and never before has someone elses' grief been so palpable. She took little comfort from us during these grieving sessions and it was painful to watch. Combine her grief with jet lag and the first week or two were pretty rocky. Let's just say Phil and I slept very little.
Sleep has continued to be difficult for Charli. She has a hard time falling asleep for naps and at night. Some times we start her bedtime at 7:30 and it is after 10:00 before she is sleeping. We lay next to her as her foster family did but up until recently she didn't want us to hold her or rock her or rub her back or in any way aid sleep. She tosses and turns and we know she is very tired but sleep eludes her. A few weeks ago our pediatrician told us we could give her melatonin. This has helped a TON. She now takes about 30 minutes to an hour to fall asleep. Her bonding to us is moving forward and she is becoming more willing to let us rub her back or snuggle her to help her fall asleep. She is still sleeping on a mattress beside our bed but we are just happy that falling asleep is moving in the right direction now.
Unfortunately falling asleep is not her only sleep struggle. When she does get to sleep Charli suffers from night terrors. Imagine for a minute being sound asleep and waking to the most blood curdling scream you have ever heard outside a showing of The Exorcist. You realize it is coming from the floor beside your bed where your tiny new daughter is sleeping. She is writhing on the bed and screaming as if Satan himself is after her. You attempt to comfort her but any attempt at touching or speaking to her makes the screaming worse. Some times her eyes are closed and sometimes they are open but she looks through you as if you aren't there. At some point you realize that she isn't even awake. There is nothing to do but stay close, make sure she doesn't get hurt and wait for the screaming to stop. In Charli's case after 10 to 30 minutes she wets the bed and that wakes her. We then change her clothes and sheets and attempt to put her back to sleep. She usually falls quickly back to sleep. The freaked out parents take longer to drift off again. We've been told that there really is nothing to do for the night terrors. If they take on a pattern of happening at the same time each night we could wake her 15 minutes before to prevent the night terror but so far Charli's night terrors have no predictable pattern. We hope that as she feels more safe and secure here and that the trauma of being separated from her foster family in Korean gets more distant the night terrors will cease.
I hope this doesn't scare anyone off from adopting children. Adoption is an amazingly wonderful way to grow a family. And Charli is delightful, we wouldn't wish her away ever. Adoption, like the rest of life is messy and definitely not for wimps.
Charli's first struggle was grief. She missed her foster family terribly. She had spent two years with them and certainly did not understand why they would have handed her off to us. She would cry out for her Omma in Korea. The grief cry is unlike any cry I had ever heard before. It would come over her any time of the day or night and you would know it was grief because it was heart wrenching mournful cry and she would cry huge crocodile tears. I have grieved myself and been around many others who were grieving some loss and never before has someone elses' grief been so palpable. She took little comfort from us during these grieving sessions and it was painful to watch. Combine her grief with jet lag and the first week or two were pretty rocky. Let's just say Phil and I slept very little.
Sleep has continued to be difficult for Charli. She has a hard time falling asleep for naps and at night. Some times we start her bedtime at 7:30 and it is after 10:00 before she is sleeping. We lay next to her as her foster family did but up until recently she didn't want us to hold her or rock her or rub her back or in any way aid sleep. She tosses and turns and we know she is very tired but sleep eludes her. A few weeks ago our pediatrician told us we could give her melatonin. This has helped a TON. She now takes about 30 minutes to an hour to fall asleep. Her bonding to us is moving forward and she is becoming more willing to let us rub her back or snuggle her to help her fall asleep. She is still sleeping on a mattress beside our bed but we are just happy that falling asleep is moving in the right direction now.
Unfortunately falling asleep is not her only sleep struggle. When she does get to sleep Charli suffers from night terrors. Imagine for a minute being sound asleep and waking to the most blood curdling scream you have ever heard outside a showing of The Exorcist. You realize it is coming from the floor beside your bed where your tiny new daughter is sleeping. She is writhing on the bed and screaming as if Satan himself is after her. You attempt to comfort her but any attempt at touching or speaking to her makes the screaming worse. Some times her eyes are closed and sometimes they are open but she looks through you as if you aren't there. At some point you realize that she isn't even awake. There is nothing to do but stay close, make sure she doesn't get hurt and wait for the screaming to stop. In Charli's case after 10 to 30 minutes she wets the bed and that wakes her. We then change her clothes and sheets and attempt to put her back to sleep. She usually falls quickly back to sleep. The freaked out parents take longer to drift off again. We've been told that there really is nothing to do for the night terrors. If they take on a pattern of happening at the same time each night we could wake her 15 minutes before to prevent the night terror but so far Charli's night terrors have no predictable pattern. We hope that as she feels more safe and secure here and that the trauma of being separated from her foster family in Korean gets more distant the night terrors will cease.
I hope this doesn't scare anyone off from adopting children. Adoption is an amazingly wonderful way to grow a family. And Charli is delightful, we wouldn't wish her away ever. Adoption, like the rest of life is messy and definitely not for wimps.
Tuesday, July 31, 2012
The Illness that ate July....
Perhaps you are wondering where we have been or perhaps it has been so long since a new post you have given up on reading the blog. Gabe was very sick in July. He had mono and a staph infection in his throat. I have never seen glands swollen so large. Poor boy. The first week he was really miserable and slept a ton. The second week he was feeling better but had to stay quiet due to an enlarged spleen. He got the all clear from the doctor a little over a week ago and we have resumed our normal crazy life. I go back to work in two weeks so I better work to do some updating on here before life gets even crazier.
Tuesday, July 3, 2012
Dinosaurs at the zoo...
Obviously my blog is falling behind. We do so many fun things I am going to try to blog about them even if it is late. On Thursday, June 21st, Charli had her first trip to the zoo. The zoo had a dinosaur exhibit that Charli was indifferent to, Ellie was scared of, Abby enjoyed and Gabe LOVED. We stayed until about 2:00 p.m. It was a hot day so of course we had to play in the splash pad after lunch. Charli had a few melt downs but all in all a pretty successful day. Both little girls fell asleep on the drive home....ah peace.
Friday, June 22, 2012
Father's Day
"Blessed indeed is the man who hears many gentle voices call him Father!"
~ Lydia M. Child
There is certainly nothing gentle about the voices in our house. In fact LOUD is something we do really well. Also Phil is called many things, Dad, Daddy, Appa and Pappa but never Father. HE is, however, certainly blessed by the many tiny humans who live in our house. The rest of us are blessed by our loving Daddy.
We got the chance to celebrate our Dad on Sunday. We had a fabulous day. We started by going over to Wabasha where we played on the beach and swam in the Mississippi river. We also had a picnic and got ice cream from D.Q. After returning home and taking naps we got dressed up and took Daddy out to Osaka for some hibachi cooking. We hope Dad had a good day because the rest of us sure had fun.
~ Lydia M. Child
There is certainly nothing gentle about the voices in our house. In fact LOUD is something we do really well. Also Phil is called many things, Dad, Daddy, Appa and Pappa but never Father. HE is, however, certainly blessed by the many tiny humans who live in our house. The rest of us are blessed by our loving Daddy.
We got the chance to celebrate our Dad on Sunday. We had a fabulous day. We started by going over to Wabasha where we played on the beach and swam in the Mississippi river. We also had a picnic and got ice cream from D.Q. After returning home and taking naps we got dressed up and took Daddy out to Osaka for some hibachi cooking. We hope Dad had a good day because the rest of us sure had fun.
Hey look at that really white guy in the river. Could ALL those kids be his?
Enjoying a picnic under a tree.
Charli LOVED the sand!
Gabe in his too cool and scary snake gogles.
Ellie enjoying the river.
We decided to bury big sister in the sand.
No summer adventure is complete with ice cream.
Charli feels the same way. She must be a Germann.
Friday, June 15, 2012
Communication
Lots of people have asked how much English Charli knows and conversely how much Korean we know. The answer to both questions is very little. The social worker in Korea wrote out some of Charli's key words to help us. For instance we know that "dunga" means she needs to go potty and that "oyoo" means milk. They told us she spoke 2 word Korean sentences. I think they were wrong about that. She will often go on for what feels like a paragraph rather than a two word sentence. Oh if only we knew what she was saying. I have no doubt that somewhere in there is the phrase "crazy white people."
In the last two weeks she has started saying several English words. Her English vocabulary includes, "owie, peek a boo, banana, orange, hi, bye, beep (when she beeps your nose), ding, puppy (though she thinks all stuffed animals are called puppy) and Charli (yes, she can say her name but doesn't associate it with herself yet). She also does the signs for more and all done. We are very impressed with the speed that she is picking up English and signing.
She also communicates in the language of two year olds....grunting and pointing. That we understand quite well.
Edited to add that because she is the 4th child in this home she also says, "come on," "stop it," and "no, no, no."
In the last two weeks she has started saying several English words. Her English vocabulary includes, "owie, peek a boo, banana, orange, hi, bye, beep (when she beeps your nose), ding, puppy (though she thinks all stuffed animals are called puppy) and Charli (yes, she can say her name but doesn't associate it with herself yet). She also does the signs for more and all done. We are very impressed with the speed that she is picking up English and signing.
She also communicates in the language of two year olds....grunting and pointing. That we understand quite well.
Edited to add that because she is the 4th child in this home she also says, "come on," "stop it," and "no, no, no."
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