The end of the beginning

Our time in Seoul came to a close on 2009 Apr 29 (Wednesday), one week after our arrival. When we arrived in the lobby of the ESWS guest house, everyone else was already there (Kimberly, escorting a little girl; Julie Post and her mom -- we were all on the same flight). The foster families were also there with the babies. After a flurry of last-minute paperwork, photos, tears, and a prayer by ESWS director Dr. Kim, we were hurried into to the waiting van and waved goodbye.

So there's the clinical version of what happened, but that isn't the real story.

For several days before leaving, we began to understand the enormous sacrifice and love of Yeong Ah's foster parents, Lee Mi Sook and Kim Tae Seog. As one of our new friends wrote about their daughter (and all our children), "... She already had a family with loving foster parents. She had routines, a secure environment, and everything she needed. True - this couldn't last because a pre-adoption foster home is temporary - an infant can't rationalize that. ..." Indeed, Korea is a beautiful place. Julie and I would talk often of how surprised we were by the strength of our emotional connection to Mrs. Lee and Mr. Kim, and how it felt like we were, in a sense, breaking a family up by taking Ellie home. We had considered our own family, the birth mother, Yeong Ah's needs, but very little about her foster family. We were excited and heartbroken at the same time.

We just couldn't leave on Wednesday morning without hugging Mrs. Lee and Mr. Kim. I don't know if we broke any Korean 'protocols' by that, but I will testify that the strength of their return embrace told me that we had arrived at an understanding for the mutual benefit of Eliana Yeong Ah.

I type with tears in my eyes for the thousands of foster families who have loved children and watched them fly away to foreign homes. Perhaps someday adoption will not be necessary, and all children can be raised in stable homes within their native cultures.

The central element of the Catholic faith is something called the "Paschal Mystery." Simply put, it's our understanding of how God gave life through the death and resurrection of Jesus. It is the mystery of how pain, loss, grief, and failure can coexist with love, joy, life, and hope. It cannot be explained, but is understood through experiences. I have rarely felt such a strong presence of this as in the few days leading up to our trip home. Anticipating the pain of taking Yeong Ah and the challenge of the flight home reminded me of why we celebrate Holy Week. It is to remember that the pain of this week was born because Yeong Ah's mother loved her enough to place her for adoption, and because Mrs. Lee and Mr. Kim dared to invite her into their home. The splendor of Easter would be diminished without the pain of Good Friday.

Our "Easter"