Beauty in all she is....

Sickness

Some sickness has struck the Germann household. We brought it on ourselves because we commented on not having any doctors visits or sick days. Abby was home on Wednesday not very sick. She threw up in the night and once in the morning and spent the rest of the day asking for candy and bouncing off the walls. If there hadn't been actual throwing up I would have thought she was faking....now that I mention it no one actual saw her throw up it was all on her own report.....hmmm.

Gabe is home sick today and he is actually sick. He has a high fever and strep throat and is feeling pretty punky. I told him he had to lay quietly on the sofa for 15 minutes and he didn't move for an hour and a half. When he woke his fever was quite high and he just wanted to lay around. I was sitting next to him and he was looking at his stuffed horned lizard, Spanky, and said, "It's creepy the way stuffed animals stare at humans." This is why we love Gabe. He is just too funny.

No News and Abby's Story

There is nothing new on the adoption. Our agency reports today that the Ministry has stated they will begin process emigration permits "shortly." I don't know what "shortly" means but a month ago they said they would process them "soon."

Third grade has a lot of emphasis on creative writing. Phil and I were touched by a creative writing story Abby did recently and thought we would share it. I am not changing any of the grammer or spelling but just retyping it they way she wrote it.

I Have A Dream by Abby Germann

In the future I hope that all people all over the world, black and white, will be treated fairly. My sister is black and white. I hope that when this black and white thing is over that white and black people will become great friends. Korea and it's capital Seol will let us go get my other sister very soon. I hope everyone will live in peace and harmony for the rest of life on earth.

We hope that too Abby....

Christina Perri - A Thousand Years (Lyrics)

This song was originally supposed to be a love song....actually a love song for vampires (and yes it is my dirty little secret that I secretly love Twilight). However the lyrics are exactly how I feel during this wait for Yeong Eun. I listen to this song nearly every day while I wait.

STILL Waiting............

Tom Petty definitely got it right, the waiting is the hardest part. We were so hopeful that by now we would be filling the pages of this blog with news that were reading travel books and shopping for plane tickets. But alas we are not. January has come and gone and we are no closer to our new daughter than we were in December. We continue to wait for her to be granted an emigration permit by the Korean government. We had expected to have our file submitted to the Korean government for a permit on January 2, 2012. As of today February 3, 2012, the Korean government has not accepted any submissions from adoption agencies for permits and is not commenting on when they will accepted submissions. This is such a vast difference from the program that existed when we adopted Ellie just three years ago that is hard to wrap our heads around.

It is hard to explain to anyone who hasn't been through this how hard the wait is. I described it to one person recently as being 27 months pregnant. There is so much anticipation and pent up anxiety that I find it hard to focus on anything else. We know this HUGE life changing event is coming but we don't know when. Yeong Eun will be 20 months old in a few days. We have been waiting for her since she was 5 months old. We only get limited information and a picture or two every other month.

The kids ask about her nearly everyday and I have no answer for them. Ellie often asks if Charlie is coming soon and I don't know what to say. In the deep of the night when things that scare me the most keep me from sleeping I worry that Charlie will never come home. Legally she is not ours yet and if the Korean government ends international adoption I don't think we have much if any recourse.

The other thing that makes the wait so crazy difficult is that we know the delay will only make the transition harder for Yeong Eun. Although we are waiting anxiously for her, she is not waiting for us. She does not know about adoption. She is happy and content with her foster family. She doesn't know the word foster.....they are her family. Having done this once before we know that taking her from that family will be incredibly painful for all involved. The older Yeong Eun gets the more painful it will be for her. I think of each of our kids at almost two and how they would have responded if a stranger took them from us....

The intellectual part of me knows that if Yeong Eun doesn't come home with us she will never have a forever family. The foster family that has her now will not adopt her. If she stays in Korea she will end up in an institution. I know that having a forever family is what is best for her. I know that she is part of our family already and has been for 15 months. I know that that little Korean was meant to be a Germann. I know that we will survive this wait and she will survive her grief over losing her family. I know we can do this.

So for now.....we keep waiting.....